Sunday, August 17, 2008

Kevinj1 Starts Busing Service In North Platte

Kevinj1 is doing his part to curve global warming. Kev, as he's called by his friends, has started a busing company and has picked a small town in Nebraska to try out his newest product. His idea is innovative and new for sure. Whats it called you ask? Ride The Handicapped.

"I picked North Platte for a couple of reasons. One, its relatively flat land so we don't have to worry about any blowouts going downhill and we can keep a schedule with no uphills as well. The other reason is my newest love interest and co-partner, BDL's wife," said kev.
"I knew he'd finally move in on my wife and I should be upset. But kev and I have worked out a timeshare plan that we are both comfortable with. Plus I can pay for the bus with pizza and I love pizza," BDL said with a slice of sausage and onion pizza in his hand.

"I have always wanted to ride kev," said Mrs. BDL, "now I can do it every day and not just on my way to work. This is awesome."

When asked what the uniform would look like kev quickly pulled out the shirt.
"I'm very excited about this idea. I think this is great for the town, the environment, and Lefty's wife. It's a win, win, and win all the way around," said kev.

Kevinj1 is still looking for a shop for chair maintenance but has identified a vacant building next to a liquor store. Rent negotiations are still ongoing but kev feels confident that he can get the bus company running by November 1st. A schedule will be released soon and Lefty is even painting the bus stop signs.

Sheep Vote In Union, HackandSlash Served With Restraining Order

"Finally!!!" was heard from Baba Blacksheep. "We've been after this for some time now and we finally can have representation to handle our major issues."

Sheep all over Europe overwhelmingly voted for a union. Blacksheep said that they wanted to form a union for several reasons but the biggest uniting thing was the treatment they received from HackandSlash. "To say that he is a bit rough with us when he gets worked up is an understatement," said Blacksheep. He detailed very disturbing things that this reporter just doesn't feel comfortable with. Blacksheep did refer us to their lawyer, Harry Nutsack.
"Mr. HackandSlash is a very disturbed and violent man. Some of the things he does to these sheep he won't even do to his wife, and she might be thankful for that," said Mr. Nutsack. "We have had him served with a restraining order already. He won't be allowed to be within 500 meters of any sheep herd in Europe. We have also asked the judge to order that HackandSlash turn over all of his "disguises" he uses to sneak up on the sheep. We have several videos of him using several of his techniques. I'm confident that we can slow him down. I'm not sure we can stop him completely."

"We have already created a t-shirt to sell to help support our union and our cause. We are sure that HackandSlash will fight this restraining order and a court battle will be very expensive. But we are willing to use some of this money for rehab for HackandSlash and we hear that it can be very costly and painful," said Blacksheep.
"We weren't sure if we could get the herd to vote the union in but after we invited Geddy Lee from the rock band RUSH to speak to the herd we felt confident that we'd get the votes. I mean if he and his band mates can write a song in support for trees to get a union why can't he help us sheep get one as well," said Blacksheep.

HackandSlash could not be reached for comment but his wife did tell us that he had been spotted at a pet store in the neighborhood and asking what goats liked to eat other than grass.

Friday, August 1, 2008

KS Poll Results Are In

The results from the 2 latest KaddyShack polls are in.

Question #1 - Does the guild need improvement?

Out of 30 responses - 21 say the guild is just fine as it is
5 say no complaints
5 say they are leaving if there are leaving if no changes are made soon.

Question #2 - What would make the guild more exciting for you?

Out of 31 responses - 16 say we need more female members (what a shocker)
5 say more guild vs guild tournaments
3 say more guild tournaments
2 say trying to get a guild house
1 says other

I'd like to add a few editorial comments here.

  • First of all I must admit I am somewhat disappointed in the poll results in so much as we have a membership of over 125 people between both of our guilds and only 31 people took the time to respond to the poll questions.

  • Secondly to those who responded that they are leaving if something is not done soon; please contact one of the guild admin's to discuss any grievances you have.

  • Lastly to those who responded that they would like to see more females join the guild I say this. Yeah Buddy !!

A New Tour Pro at KaddyShack

The Kaddyshack News team offers our congratulations to SH@NK for his success in passing the latest Tour Pro test. We also with acknowledge the herculean effort this took on his part. In preparation for the test SH@NK has selflessly spent hours upon hours hitting golf ball after golf ball, cracking beer can after beer can all in the name of attaining this lofty goal. We are all very proud of him!

Gratz m8 !