"I can't believe it," exclaimed Dam. "I didn't even know I was in the draw! The funny thing is, I was just topping off Lefty’s online pizza account with 10 dollars and the only option I had to add the money was Google. I've never put any money into this silly game."
PaulCK was equally surprised. "It's amazing. I've never won anything. I once got 2nd place in a beauty contest and received $200 for passing GO but other than that I can't recall anything."
However, not all of the KaddyShack team are overjoyed with the good news received by 2 of its members. Tournament Director and Gold box-aholic stephencbt was far from impressed. "It's an absolute scandal! I'm outraged. I had to lay off 4 employees during the last gold box sale and all I got was 378 freaking stam zods and 654 mopsos. I've max'd out 6 different credit cards and American Express is refusing to up my credit limit. I’m not going to let this go. I’m taking this to the powers that be!”
Stephen continued,” I've requested 3 meetings now with our Guild Master HackandSlash. The first two were conference calls and when I dialed the number all I got was some fainting goat sex line, the 3rd meeting was scheduled for London, but when I got there he never showed up. I'm at my wits end. There are 3 horse heads in the mail. Those 2 jammy bastards will get theirs, although Hack’s will end up being returned to sender.”
We asked Wild-Bill for his comments, to which he responded “Fuck em”. We then tracked down Shooter McGavin who had just finished some gardening in a field in Nevada. “Sorry, I’ve heard nothing. I’ve been busy planting a few thousand marajuana, I mean, marigold plants, err, for, err, an outdoor garden when my Dutch Style Coffee Shop opens next year. Yeah, that’s it. BassBassist is coming to be my general manager. Maybe he'll even bring an oven with him.”
Andy245 was more helpful when we asked him what he thought of the whole situation. “Well it’s quite simple really,” replied Andy. “Stephen is actually from the planet Algar while Dam and PaulCK are from Zaglak. These 2 planets have been feuding for centuries. It’s no wonder there’s hostile feelings between them. It won’t be settled until the next intergalactic senate meeting is held in 2348." Andy245 continued to talk to us for the next 2 hours but me mostly rambled on about Krypton and Mars hookers.
In one final attempt to get to the bottom of the hostilities, we decided to contact the GM, HackandSlash. Unfortunately, the F.B.I. and Scotland Yard refused to reveal his location or even if he existed. Flossy the goat refused to be interviewed. However a man named Nigel did appear to speak with us and provided us with a disturbing picture.
Edit: News just in – stephencbt has been found on top of the Empire State Building threatening to jump. It appears that Shot Online has given out sets of plus 2 stat gloves and hats. He was heard babbling “I can’t believe that Irish bastard got those gloves and shoes. They’re mine I tell you, mine!”
Las Vegas Police Officer Nomad was seen floating to the scene in an attempt to talk him down.
Story written mostly by PaulCK with a little Damifino tweeking.
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