KaddyShack Enquirer

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Sart Has Baby. Search For Real Father Begins

The long awaited time has finally arrived. Sart gave birth to a girl. Now the other part of the equation begins. Who is the real father?

"I've never seen anything quite like it," said Nurse Betty. "I'm used to seeing alot of people coming by the nursery to look at all the newborn babies but to see so many men looking at this one particular little girl, well, it's kinda creepy."

It is still unclear as to how many men exactly are claiming to be the baby's father but one thing is clear, the list is getting longer by the second.

"I don't care what anyone says. I know I'm the father," said a confident Dibbler. "All of these other guys are wasting their time and effort and I'm confident that I will be proven right."

Some men aren't so sure, "Sart knows that I'm the father," said BigDumbLefty. "She and I had one special night where she was my naughty little schoolgirl and I gave her a nine month homework assignment."

"Look I didn't come all the way over to England from the states for nothing," said stephencbt. "She knows that I'm the baby's daddy. She and I agreed to even call her Stephanie. I even sealed the deal with a couple of 1000 durability stamina zods."

"Stamina zods? I showed her a better time than that, I showed her my TP Bomber," said a beaming PaulCK. "I have the best of luck with gold boxes. However the night that Sart and I were together I had a little bad luck with a gold coin."
(Note....a gold coin has a prize in it....a condom, just to clarify)

There does appear to be one person that does know who the father is but they seem to be having difficulty remembering just who it wis. "All I know is that Sart and I were really drunk that night. She confided in me who the real father is but I honestly was so plastered that night I can't remember what she said," said an embarrassed Huggies.

There were several witnesses that night. pac, Jafo, Damifino, Kales, and even xSINISTERx just to name a few. Most of them who were on ventrillo that night will not forget that night for a very long time. But none of them can be sure who the father is either.

"Most of the men coming in here claiming to be the father has been very helpful with sperm samples to help solve this mess," said Nurse Betty, "except for BigDumbLefty. I've told him several times that we only need one sample and at last count we had eight. That man plays with himself more than an entire baseball team combined."

Although the father of the baby is still in doubt three men have been ruled out. Tenpin found out he wasn't the father early on and disappeared. Michael Jackson is not the father because we know he has never slept with a woman. The last person is kevinj1 simply because he is still chasing BigDumbLefty's wife.

There have been two other possibilities that have popped up in the last few days but both possibilities are odd and seemingly impossible. One is the AFLAC duck and the other is Groucho Marx. Neither seems possible but at this point nothing would suprise us.

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